Today my brother turns 25 - I could not even begin to imagine life without him. BD [as only I have called him for as long as I can remember] was born six days before my third birthday, blonde [well, now it's more dark blonde] with crystal blue eyes and a perfect nose - I initially thought he was very cute, but boring. Like probably every other little girl, I thought I wanted a sister. I thank God for showing me the error of my thoughts. Instead of a sister I have a brother who is one of my best friends on the planet (and my cousin, M, four weeks my elder, who is effectively my [which one of us is the evil?] twin.)
BD has always had the bigger heart out of the two of us. When he was little, he drew a picture of whales in one of his art classes that our mom kept for years, it said, "I feel sorry for the whales." When our neighbor pushed my brother down in the middle of the street in front of our house, I broke his nose. My brother and I have developed almost a twin-speak between us. Honestly, he can say something like, "Remember that time with the guy?" and I know exactly what he's referencing. It helps that he didn't always talk much and we agree that I pretty much spoke for both of us for most of his childhood. Having a confidante while growing up in our oftentimes tumultuous home made things a lot easier. I bought him his first beer and his second. When he had a party and trashed our parents' new house, I told them everything was fine when they called from Jamaica.
As we have gotten older, and he has gotten progressively bigger than I am, our roles seem to have reversed at times. Unfortunately, this can be ridiculously aggravating particularly when it comes to my dealings with men. He always says he wants me to join a "nunnery." [I would do anything for my brother, but I won't do that.] When suddenly I was the one in need of a cheerleader, he was Mr. Positive. Sure, he can be an asshole and we fight - it's not always sunny. But I think it all boils down to this: after watching an episode of Law and Order: SVU [so good] one day with him where the cops trick someone into flipping on their partner because the cops claimed their partner already flipped on them, I turned to my brother and said, "You know if anyone ever said that I flipped on you they'd be lying, right?" I would know to never believe them either.
The other night when I was adroitly dodging condo guy's questions left and right, he asked me: How many kids do you want to have? I have never set any kind of finite number on that important of a life decision (condo guy wants five, by the way.) I was a nanny for twins, which I felt gave me an entirely more realistic perspective [highly effective method of birth control.] Let's face it, I don't know for sure if the whole get married then have babies thing is in the cards for me, and even if the first part happens, what if we can't have kids? I would adopt in a heartbeat - ever since I was little I have thought if I could swing it, that would be really incredible. All that I would pray for is a healthy baby. As for my answer when condo guy asked me? Anything but one.
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